This is your brain on FIFA

Homosexuals "should refrain from any sexual activities" while attending the 2022 World Cup in Qatar. -- FIFA President Sepp Blatter.

There. Problem solved. Just don't have sex in Qatar. If you are gay. Or not married. Now, on to the problem of playing soccer in the scorching temperatures of summer in the Middle East.

FIFA's general secretary Jerome Valke is open to the idea of staging the 2022 World Cup in Qatar during the winter.

Wow. Amazing. I'm sure a winter World Cup won't inconvenience the players or their clubs, despite the fact that they will be in the middle of their season and will have to drop everything for the Cup. Just brilliant, I tell you. These guys deserve a briefcase full of Euros. Or a second briefcase, for those FIFA officials who already got one.